Counseling-- Society for Christian Psychology

Creativity in Counseling, Part 2: The Art of the Therapeutic Question

Posted on March 8, 2010

[by Leslie Vernick, DCSW, LCSW. Leslie is in private practice, Director of Christ-Centered Counseling www.leslievernick.com, and is our blogger for the month of March. This is her second blog]

As an author, I’ve struggled to show instead of simply tell what I want to convey to my audience. I’ve found that this same writing principle of “show, don’t tell” works best in the counseling office as well. Dr. Burns (from last week’s blog) showed his client that she wasn’t having a heart attack through her experience of jogging in place. Telling her wasn’t enough to convince her. To explore a different avenue for creativity in counseling, I want to look at the art of asking good questions.

Therapeutic questions are most often used to gather information and orient ourselves as clinicians as to what brings the client to our office. We want to understand how she perceives her current life problems as well as explore what precipitated them, how she has coped, as well as what solutions, if any, she has tried to resolve her pain. As a wrench is to a plumber, a scalpel is to a surgeon, and a paint brush is to an artist, the question is the basic tool of the therapist. Learning how to use this tool competently is as much an art as it is a skill.

All of us have learned about asking good questions in graduate school, but perhaps some of us haven’t taken the time to master some of the finer or more subtle ways we can use this important tool in the therapeutic process. Talented artists don’t paint pictures using a single brush. They learn which brush is required to make a bold stroke versus a fine line. They study and repeatedly practice what kind of angle and exactly how much weight to apply to the brush in order to achieve their desired results. In a similar way, as clinicians we can use a well worded or wisely timed question to turn the corner beyond fact finding or data gathering and move our client toward change.

When I was beginning my counseling career, I often felt like I was stumbling in the dark. After gathering my information and forming my hypothesis, I wasn’t sure how to take my client from point A to point B. I knew where I wanted to go (sort of), but wasn’t sure how to get her there. Instead of asking the right question that might help my client see her way forward, I pushed rather than invited, taught instead of showed, and sometimes preached rather than simply be present.

Perhaps because I was so guilty of these missteps, I readily see them with the Christian counselors I supervise as well. Instead of helping someone grow to become more aware of themselves and/or God and his truth through the use of good and well timed questions, we lecture, teach, or preach. But Jesus masterfully wielded the right question at just the right time in order to bring individuals into greater awareness, to challenge wrong thinking, and to influence them toward deep and significant change.

Let’s briefly look at 3 types of questions Jesus asked in order to see how we might sharpen our therapeutic tool in a more creative way.

1. Teaching Questions: Instead of telling someone what to believe, Jesus often used questions to challenge wrong thinking or bring about greater awareness of a spiritual truth. For example, Jesus asked:

“Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way…Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them. Do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem?” (Luke 13:1-4)

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish will give him a snake?” (Matthew 7:9)

“Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? …Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life, and why do you worry about clothes? (Matthew 6:25-29)

Jesus used these questions to correct wrong thinking and help individuals to see God and life in fresh new ways.

Instead of telling or teaching the truth, here is an example how one might use questions to help a client think more biblically.

“What do you think it means in Romans 12:21 when it says that we’re not to be overcome with evil but to overcome evil with good? How might that truth help you decide how to handle the situation we’ve just talked about? What would good look like here?”

2. Challenging Questions: In addition to teaching someone new ways of thinking there are times our clients are caught in faulty and deceptive beliefs. Below are some questions Jesus asked to challenge and cast light upon deeply entrenched beliefs in order to invite a person toward greater truth and healing.

“And if Satan casts out Satan, he is divided against himself; how then shall his kingdom stand?” (Matthew 12:26-29)

“Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles?” (Matthew 7:16)

“If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out?” (Matthew 12:11)

In last week’s case example, Dr. Burns could have asked his client, “Do you believe you can jog and have a heart attack at the same time?” He didn’t directly ask her that question, yet embedded in his request to jog, it was an obvious challenge to her faulty belief.

Here’s an example of a question I’ve used to challenge the head/heart division that many of my clients experience when they say, “I know that in my head, but not in my heart.”

“When your thoughts and feelings are contrary to what God says, who wins?”

3. Confronting Questions: As Christian psychologists and counselors, we are not merely truth seekers, we are called to be truth tellers. How we tell the truth however, is important. Jesus often used a piercing question to confront a particular sin or heart attitude.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3-5)

“Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46)

Confronting sinful and/or immature attitudes and behavior is not easy while still maintaining a good therapeutic relationship. We have been taught not to use why questions because they usually put someone on the defensive. However, we can ask probing questions without using the word why. Here are some examples.

“You’re right, it’s not fair that your parents (or whoever) treated you so sinfully, but what does it cost you to stay stuck in resentment and anger for this long?

”You tell me that you want to honor God and be a good husband. But what happens to you when you also want your wife to listen to you and she is too busy or isn’t interested? What happens to you and in you when you don’t get what you want from your wife?”

Within the therapeutic hour there are many choices and decisions we make regarding what strategy to use for a particular client and his/or her situation. A well timed and thoughtful question can open otherwise closed doors. I welcome further dialogue on ways that others have used questions to show, not tell.

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