[by Leslie Vernick, DCSW, LCSW. Leslie is in private practice, Director of Christ-Centered Counseling www.leslievernick.com, and is our blogger for the month of March. This is her first blog]

I attended a workshop a while back where David Burns, author of the bestselling book Feeling Good, was teaching techniques for managing anxiety and depression. If you have a chance to hear him, go. He’s an outstanding speaker.  What I remember most and have pondered often over the years was a clinical video demonstration he showed where one of his clients, a young graduate student, was in the midst of a panic attack. She was in obvious distress, panting and crying, certain she was experiencing a heart attack. Despite Dr. Burns’s empathic responses that she was in the middle of a panic attack and not going to die, she was not convinced.

No amount of logical or rational argument calmed this woman’s body, although at some level I suppose, she did believe him at least a little bit or she would have demanded he call 911. But the truth was not sinking in as I watched her body and mind continue to be gripped by fear.

As counselors, daily we encounter these kinds of crossroad moments with our clients. They might not be struggling with panic attacks but they are struggling with embracing truth and breaking free from lies. As I watched this video, I thought to myself, how do we convince someone that the lie they so firmly believe is not true? As Christian counselors we know the truth and that the truth sets us free. Yet this woman was not freed from her panic merely by hearing Dr. Burns tell her the truth.

I’m afraid sometimes as biblical counselors, we naively think that instructing someone in correct theology or giving him or her biblical principles on how to live right, will result in a transformed heart and life. Sadly, if you’ve been counseling for any length of time, you know that most of the time, that doesn’t work.

Therefore, I was curious to see how Dr. Burns would handle this case. Instead of arguing his point or disputing this woman’s lie he got creative. He asked her to stand up. Obviously they had a good therapeutic relationship and she trusted him, so shakily she stood up while protesting that she was going to collapse on the floor. Once standing, still trembling with fear and hyperventilating, Dr. Burns asked her to start jogging in place. She resisted, but he assured her that she would not die and reminded her that she was a runner. Slowly she started jogging in place, crying that she could not do what he was asking her to do and that any minute she was surely going to fall down. He ignored her and simply told her to jog faster. While jogging in place, Dr. Burns asked his client how much she believed she was having a heart attack. She answered, “about 95%”.

“Jog faster” was Dr. Burns’s response.  Still protesting, she jogged faster and after another 15 seconds or so, Dr. Burns again asked her how much she believed she was having a heart attack.

“About 75%,” she said, still crying.

Dr. Burns said, “Jog faster”.  The woman complied and a few moments later a small smile began to creep across her face. Once more Dr. Burns asked her how much she believed she was having a heart attack. This time she started giggling, stopped jogging and sat down. She said, “I guess I couldn’t be having a heart attack and jog faster at the same time.”  Jogging helped her experience the truth.

As I’ve thought about this clinical demonstration I’ve wondered just how I might do something like this with my clients who get so stuck in their lies. What kinds of creative things can I do that will help them experience the truth so that they are free to let go of the lie?

Here’s one that provided that “ah ha” moment for one of my clients. My office is located in my home. I have a perfect set up with a walk-out basement that has a separate entrance. Outside my office I have some beautiful gardens.

 I was working with a young woman struggling with mild depression, insecurity and low self-esteem. She constantly compared herself to others and always fell short (in her own eyes). She knew the scriptures, that she was fearfully and wonderfully made, she was unique, and all the things we typically would say to help someone stuck in such lies to think differently, but nothing was really helping her to actually think differently.

So one day I invited her to take a walk with me in my garden. I asked her what she saw. She commented on the flowers, some bold and flashy like the big roses. Others more delicate and hidden like the bleeding hearts tucked under my deck.  “Which one is the best?”  I asked?

“I don’t know” she said. “They’re all beautiful in their own way.”

“You’re right. But what if the bleeding heart had compared itself to the rose?” I said. “What if it thought ‘because I’m not bold and flashy and I don’t have big flowers that people use in bouquets or give as gifts, I must not be important or as beautiful?”

My client smiled. She got it. She was not a rose, but more like a bleeding heart. She was delicate and had smaller flowers that were too fragile to pick or put in bouquets. Nevertheless, she did see that in her own way, she too could be beautiful.

Like Dr. Burns did with his audience that day, let’s share with one another some creative ways we have helped our clients experience the truth.